Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Returning to a kind of normality...

After my last posts about my mother's passing I am slowly getting back to some kind of routine and normal life again - does that sound cold? It is certainly not meant to be but the last few weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster, with Sofia's birth and Ma's death in the space of a month, and now after a week of bereavement leave from work I felt ready to go back. There are good things about the public sector besides job security - the 5 day leave for a parent or very close relative is so needed - I wouldn't have been able to cope with going back any sooner.

Yesterday was the hurdle I was most dreading - what would I do with my day now that the focus of visiting Ma in my lunch hour and after work was gone? I braced myself to visit the unit where she'd lived out her last three and a half years in St. Joseph's Hospital in Dungarvan and it was not as bad as I'd thought - the staff were so welcoming and genuinely warm, and they made collecting her trinkets so much easier than I'd anticipated.

I will treasure these - a family photo and presents we brought from our trips to Spain in recent years, including snow globes of the Black Madonna of Montserrat and La Sagrada Familia, and her flamboyant beads - she loved costume jewellery and always festooned herself with colourful necklaces. There are great memories and we'll always be grateful for those - and bereavement is a long slow process that can't be hurried - I know it'll be easier to manage with all the support and love of my dear hubby and the family - where would I be without you all?

4 comments:

Ann said...

It is wonderful you had the five days to grieve remember and spend time with your family. Be kind to yourself. You have a bit of a journey ahead. Take care. A

jeannette stgermain said...

You certainly have gone through a lot, Catherine. It's those little reminders from our loved ones that we need, especially in the beginning -You're a nurse, so I don't have to tell you anything about the mourning procedure:) Take care, dear Catherine:)

The Green Stone Woman said...

These things are emotionally upsetting. Don't underestimate it. It will take a while to give it a place in your heart. Longer than 5 days. Be good to yourself and grieve when you feel like it. There will always be moments.

Stephanie V said...

After almost 30 years, my mother is still very much with me. They are such special people in our lives. Having those days away from the work world must have been a great gift.